One thing followed by another.I?m grateful if you please try to see it from my point of view.My Fortune opened the possibility for me, a 52 y o man, to almostuninhibited play with a young, naked and undestroyed girl and I felt that Imust be on that train, when it left the station.I have missed train before for the reason that I had not reacted in time andI have regretfully learned my lesson.In my mind there was an unequal struggle between,on one side my conscience and what I?ve learned to be right and wrong andutilization of a weaker part, andon the other side my manly hormones that in my planning let my thoughts playwith a 32 years younger, slender, soft and beautiful girl and thepossibility to give body to my deep longing after unlimited power over aobedient female. I had learned it as ?a voluntarily obedient female?.Guess which side that won?First a little view of my background to my justification.I was 20 y o when I had an immature and clumsy BDSM-play-relation with ayoung girl. You know that." That means you're going to be in a dangerous situation, doesn't it?" I don't think so. I'll have protection." Protection! Tell me it isn't dangerous for you, Nicole," I demanded."It shouldn't be," she said, not being able to look me in the eye."What the hell does that mean, 'It shouldn't be?'" Stop it, Will. I wish I hadn't said anything now. It was stupid of me. Please forget everything I've said. I'll be fine and I'll be back by Thanksgiving." And then you'll be gone again," I said, now very frustrated at not being able to get to the bottom of this mystery."Will, please don't do this. I care about you. I could have made up some story that you would have had to accept, but I didn't want to lie to you. But I cannot tell you everything. I'm not allowed to, by order." From whom? Who ordered you to shut up?" I can't say." Well, that means it wasn't your own people, doesn't it?'"I can't say." Do you parents know about this ... the danger I mean?" No. I didn't want them.
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